Being Equals isn’t What’s Important: It’s Being a Good Team
Some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. The person who shares their tastes, passions, and habits. But in reality, the most important thing is that you make a good team.
It doesn’t matter if your partner prefers to stay at home while you go out to dinner. It doesn’t matter if you like to play sports and they want to watch romantic movies.
The key is that you respect each other, come to agreements, and allow each of you to learn from the other, making a good team.
Being a great couple doesn’t mean that you have to agree 100% of the time, nor share the same heartbeat or see through the same set of eyes.
Being a great couple means knowing how to spin a thread of strong and durable fabric from your beautiful contrasts, so that you can sew one beautiful, durable piece.
Today we’ll explain what the keys are to forming a good team. The best team.
Despite our differences, we’re a good team
You can’t make the mistake of falling into despair just because you two don’t like the exact same things. You don’t love the same books, movies, or meals.
What should concern you is if you’re unable to reach agreements. If you are unable of putting yourself in their place, seeking to impose only your own opinions and decisions.
Let’s look in more detail.
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What matters are your values
To be a good team you can afford to disagree about political opinions and even have different personality types. Introverts can make good partners with extroverts, and vice versa.
But there’s one aspect that both of you must find a way to harmonize: your values.
- Values are what make you both have similar ideas about what a loving relationship is, or what being a family means.
- Having the same value system will help you respect and understand your differences. Furthermore, you’ll see their different points of view and take them into account, or learn from them.
Thinking differently doesn’t mean that you feel otherwise
If your partner loves cats and you’re a dog person, it doesn’t mean that they love you any less. If they are a vegetarian it doesn’t mean they’re going to detest you just because you aren’t.
- Thinking differently doesn’t mean that you love each other any less. It means that you respect each other and give each other freedoms, especially the opportunity to be yourselves.
- But one aspect that you should keep in mind is this: your partner never has the right to change the way you think or to impose their tastes, ideals, or passions on you.
- Because in order to be a team, each member needs to understand that without respect, there can be no alliance. Without that understanding of your differences, there’s no chance for a union.
Your differences enrich you
- Your professional lives will move in different circles, and you spend the day in different settings. But when you get home to let down your defenses, all that remains is what’s true: two people who love each other.
- You have differences, you move in opposite directions. But you love explaining how your day went. You love to learn from each other, seeing each other’s perspectives.
- It doesn’t matter if there are certain aspects you never reach agreement on. It’s possible that your partner will never give in and buy a house in the countryside, but they’ll still go on outdoor trips every weekend.
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You know how to agree
To be a good team you need to know how to come to agreement. It’s also vital that you know how to put good communication into practice to reach your common goals:
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Listen with respect and interest: listen to understand, not only to answer.
- Understand the point of view of the other person. We all have our own opinion on certain things, but you need to empathize, put yourself in your partner’s shoes to understand what they feel and why they stand for what they do.
- Giving in isn’t the same as losing; it means you’re testing new possibilities. To make a good team, you must be clear about one thing: no one should lose, and no one should win.
- To achieve those daily victories you have to give something up each time.
- So you’re not always walking in step each and every day. Sometimes you give a little, suddenly discovering things that you didn’t expect. Things that enrich you both.
This is worth taking into account. The best couples are kindred spirits who share the same values and their differences are harmonized by dialogue and respect because they make a good team.